She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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