White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
