I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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