It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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