Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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