I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
