I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
