her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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