a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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