You can't motorboat a personality
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
