i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize