People in love make me want to vomit
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
