I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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