Yo dont text me then not text me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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