I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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