Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize