I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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