She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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