i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
