you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want a musical about memes.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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