Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
