brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
