I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
