no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
