i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
