Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
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