Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
