I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
