Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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