I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
As shirtless as possible
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
