That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
