That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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