just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
