Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
try to milk me bitch
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