I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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