Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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