i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
