I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
