You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize