i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
