How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
