people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
how does that bad decision feel?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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