Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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