Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
