YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
