I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
