If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
