I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
