My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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