Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
