he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
