I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
