so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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