Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize