I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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