TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
