You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
