god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
