if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
