things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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