Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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