I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
