he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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