Pappa wants mamma naked
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize