R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
and she was petting her beer can
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
