Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
