Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
